My weight loss journey began at the age of 12. This is my story.
“What is that? It looks like you’re getting a little pooch there.” My mother says, staring at my abdoman as I stand by the door in my riding jodhpurs and sleeveless shirt. “You never had that before.” I’m twelve-years-old, growing up in an abusive home, and it would take the next twenty years for me to overcome the damage inflicted by statements like that from the woman who raised me.
My feeling of absolute hatred toward my body and my battle with body shame began before I can even remember. Contrary to popular opinion, it wasn’t magazines, television, models, or…
The Monday after Thanksgiving was always tricky, but Myra was in good spirits as she walked into work. The warm San Diego weather held steady all weekend and she’d taken full advantage, spending a few good hours at the beach on Saturday and Sunday. On land, Myra was clumsy, she readily admitted this, but in the water, with the waves and her surfboard, she felt like a different person — strong, capable, in control. All the Valentine siblings enjoyed the beach and surfing, but Myra and Rhonda were the two dubbed “surfer-chicks,” even though neither of them looked the part…
Don’t just say you want something, create a plan to get to it!
What do you want?
A change process often starts with thinking about what we don’t want. For instance:
- I don’t want this job anymore.
- I don’t to be in this relationship anymore.
- I don’t want to take all these medications.
- I don’t want to feel like a foreigner in the gym.
- I don’t want all these injuries.
- I don’t want to feel unattractive and unsexy.
- I don’t want to feel out of control of my eating.
Knowing what you don’t want is a good start, but it’s not totally clear what the destination is. …
Well! It’s been a week hasn’t it? Thanksgiving is upon us and we’re not supposed to celebrate in the traditional way. How does that effect you?
For my husband and I, we don’t expect this thanksgiving to be much different from last year. We’ll get our favorite Pho for take-away and have a quiet dinner with his brother and sister-in-law. With the majority of our family living in Texas (we are in Cali), it’s going to be a quiet holiday.
I know so many people are missing the family interaction and social relief, but these are crazy times we live…
Myra scanned the crowded dining room with a smile and a contented sigh. She loved this time of year. Christmas was her absolute favorite, but she loved Thanksgiving because it was the time when the most people showed up. This year, the crowd gathered around the Valentine family’s massive dining table was the largest they’d had.
Her father’s new partner was in attendance with his wife and two kids. Joshua and Marilyn couldn’t keep their hands off each other, sitting side by side, their magnetism almost palpable. Rhonda and James looked a little stiff, but James had been a bit…
Better really is better.
Lesson: Running From A Bear
Thinking on a continuum, understand that “perfection” is not, and should not be, the goal. You don’t have to be “perfect”; you just have to be “a little better.” Instead of looking at the ways you’re less than perfect, look at the ways you’re “better than zero” today.
Outdoor survival tip…
When you’re running from a bear, you don’t have to run the fastest. All you have to do is run a little bit faster than the slowest person.
If health were like running from a bear, when you’re improving your choices, you never have to be “perfect”…
Why do you want to change this thing in or about your life? Okay, but really, why?
What do you value?
Let’s dig down for a second.
- What is most important to you in life? Why?
- What kind of person do you want to be? Why?
- Are you living those values? Every day?
Deep health is a matter of meeting your expectations in all dimensions of health: physical, mental, emotional, relational, environmental, and existential.
The diagram below describes of each of these and how they are connected to your deep self.
What does it mean to “take a 5-minute action”?
This practice is about:
- Picking one improvement you want to make. There are endless changes to be made to move you towards your goals. Choosing just one that you can manage every day is far more powerful than trying to make multiple changes at once.
- Breaking that one improvement into a very, very, very small and simple chunk. A chunk you can do in 5–10 minutes, today. If it’s helpful, you can use the 4-circle diagram below to break down your larger goal into a practical 5-minute action.
- Committing to practicing one 5-minute action every day. That can be the…
“Myra, what are you baking this year?” Her mom inquired curiously.
It was Thursday morning, Thanksgiving Day, and Myra was once again in charge of dessert. No one wanted her involved in cooking activities requiring sharp utensils, so she’d become quite adept in the baking department. Pecan Pie with a bottom layer of chocolate was a family favorite, so she always did that, but this year, she had a surprise for everyone.
“I’m doing pecan and pumpkin pies because you guys love them, but I have a surprise too. I know that you, mom, will especially like it.”
Myra grinned…
Liam followed Keegan and Myra up the stairs, kicking himself for looking at Myra’s perfectly rounded backside as he did, but looking all the same. When she’d started rambling about her little accident, he thought it was cute until she’d gotten to the part about the serviceman. He completely understood Keegan’s rant, although he shared her brother’s sentiments for different reasons. Thinking about Myra on a deserted anything with another man caused his sanity to slip a little. Thinking about a man taking advantage of her sweet innocence made his blood boil.
Myra was every man’s fantasy with her tiny…
